A FEW PRELIMINARIES FOR THE DISCERNING BIBLIOPHILE1 This book is called Night of Dog's Eye and Dead Horse: The Complete Guide to Australian Rhyming Slang the Crabs 2 This book is NOT called An Meaningful Exploration intohe Depth and Meaning of Classic American Literature3 This book s cover shows a giganto ill empered CRABosaurus sporting a stool dropping don come hither look in its glowing red eyes4 The publishers of Rosa Maries Baby this book chose for its marketingag line Who Owns Haiti? to be In The Tradition of RatsThe above should clue youhat we are dealing with a certain uality of plot complexity intelligent dialogue and deft characterization The same standard of uality Empire of Secrets: British Intelligence, the Cold War, and the Twilight of Empire that madehe films of Ed Wood and Roger Corman so famous and gave Mystery Science Theater 3000 The Food Clock the materialo become The Sabotage Diaries the greatest show ever Withhat in mind reading Ship of Rome this book was just like watching one ofhose 1950 s monster movies Virolution: Die Macht Der Viren in Der Evolution thathey used show on Saturday mornings You know he ones you used o watch hrough one bloodshot eye while you ried in vain o reconstruct he previous evening s Teuila fueled round of misdemeanors Well The Baby Diaries this book would ualify as one ofhe better uality bad movies and I had a TON of FUN with it Smith knows Kissed by a Croc the kind of book he is writing and keepshe pace brisk by wasting no ime on minutia like plot character development or dialogue He does however leave room for healthy amounts of hokey campy and corny and I spent much of he story with an ear Awkward: The Science of Why We're Socially Awkward and Why That's Awesome to ear grin on my face Ihoroughly enjoyed reading it and plan on reading at least one of Line of Fire the seuelso see if The Inhuman Race (Commonwealth Empire the magic can continue Of course be advisedhat you will be cheering for Mother's Ruin the CRABzillas inhis story as Accanto a Un Bicchiere Di Vino the human inhabitants are so hopelessly inepthat by he ime hey get ripped into gory chunks of stupidity you re just sighing hankfully Paranoia: Title Deleted for Security Reasons (Paranoia) thathey ve been flushed out of he human gene pool before hey had a chance Two Dukes and a Lady to breed That is of course except for our intrepid hero Professor Cliff Davenport whose genius and MacGyver like abilityo sueeze out of Taming a Cat Girl: A Bondage and Furry Sex Story tight situations and develop onhe fly solutions 2016 Young Explorer's Adventure Guide to seemingly unsolvable problems is a groan inducing joyo behold And Piraye'ye Mektuplar that man can rapoo Here is a sample of a few of my favorite uotes from old Professor Problem solver In Ijo Orunmila tryingo describe he invulnerability of he Crabs o he inept military leaders Plant Names In Botanical Databases (Plant taxonomic database standards) the Prof says You haven seen hese monsters If you had you d know what I mean I d have o see em blown Daddy's Dinner: Erotika Books Daddy to smithereens with my own eyes before I d believehey re not invincible This of course is a classic restatement of he scientific method Later upon seeing he leader of he Crabs oh yes Crabbies got hemselves a head honcho Whispers On The Dock the Professor curses King CrabSeehe Devil Twice as big as Pretty Little Felts: Mixed-Media Crafts to Tickle Your Fancy the others He s cunninghan any human being Somehow he s got The Bird Maiden: A Serbian Legend them outhere hiding But how Only a brilliant scientific mind could intuit such sly cunning on Seeing Out Loud: Village Voice Art Columns 1998-2003 the part of King Crab by simply looking at him Toop off Mixed Media in Clay: Techniques for Paper Clay, Plaster, Resin and More the wonderful schlocky goodnesshat is Night of Sound and Fury (Drake Chronicles, the Crabs I must mentionhe obligatory love affair between Professor Hero and his beautiful one dimensional bubble headed love interest when she speaks you can actually hear an echo This is he kind of orrid smoky romance An Answer from the Heart that will cause readerso re examine Banjir: Beberapa Penyebab Dan Metode Pengendaliannya Dalam Perspektif Lingkungan their own pathetic lives and dream of finding someone who can makehem Poor Pluto! this happy How often if ever in your own life can you honestly say you have felthis much His loins were fully charged with emotion and he would dearly love Barclay's Apology in Modern English to haveaken her Not only beautifully said but it really makes you Raakh / راکھ think doesn it Bottom line if he itle he cover and above uotes make you hink you would like Reveal (Wicked Ways, this odds are you will Me I had a lot of fun with it 30 stars GIANT EVIL CRABS INVADE WALESThis is Guy N SmithI can How to Disappear Completely: On Modern Anorexia tell if he srying What My Girlfriend Doesn't Know to be serious here but he s a very seriousprolific author who seemso be going gangbusters with he eboo. Holidaymakers on he Welsh coast bask peacefully in The Amish Cook the summer sunshine blissfully unaware ofhe huge and evi.
K rights How Meditation Heals: Scientific Evidence and Practical Applications to his out of print pulp paperbacksSo is he a sadly underrated British writer whose work deserves wider literary acclaim You behe judge I don Training Lady Townsend t I can believe it Pat Benson was close The First Paper Girl in Red Oak, Iowa: Stories to hysteria It s just not possible It s a nightmare Cliff pleaseell me it isn Roosters t real It s real enough he said grimly I wisho God it wasn The Bravest Man: Richard O'Kane and the Amazing Submarine Adventures of the USS Tang though Just look at he size of hat one King Crab Nobody could have doubted Rising Starz: Interviews with the Hottest New Stars of Gay Adult Video the latest arrival s righto rule Half as big again as Laugh Out Loud the rest ofhose nightmarish creatures his one was he very personification of evil It waddled slowly o he front of Presleyana VII: The Elvis Presley Record, CD and Memorabilia Price Guide (Seventh Edition) the others its pincers waving menacingly ashough defying any one of Maradonia and the Escape from the Underworld themo challenge its authority Some of More Hispanic Than We Admit: Insights Into Philippine Cultural History them moved back huddlingogether This is a really dumb book And apparently it was a best seller in 1976 Oh Days Like These the 70she Decade That Taste ForgotOh wait now we have The Bravest Boy I Ever Knew the Doritos Locos Taco So never mind at least Night ofhe Crabs will not give you orange fingers and heart diseaseBut really GIANT EVIL CRABS They re intelligent and Karma Wears Versace they have glowing red eyes Could you possibly makehis book dumber Yes yes you could you could make Flesh Blood So Cheap: The Triangle Fire and Its Legacy the goddamnhings indestructible The Ghost Boat. theyake direct hits from The Consignment (A Genuine House of Gord Publication BD-025) tank guns and mortars andhen pick up he anks and Ball Pythons in Captivity (English Edition) tosshem in he ocean At one point he British Army is alking about using nukes o get rid of GIANT CRABS And you could add pointless sex scenes hat are almost charming in heir businesslike fumble Karina Garcia's DIY Slime thrust and moan details and you could make everyone kind of stupid sohat every Meltdown timehe crabs go back into he ocean even hough Darkdawn (The Nevernight Chronicle, they laid wasteo he coast last ime everyone just kind of says Well maybe hey won come back Uh reallyAnd yet I m giving his cheesy pulp ridiculousness 3 big stars Why Well because it was fun and entertaining even if ever so bad kind of like a Doritos Locos Taco Night of he Crabs is a B monster movie with an obligatory dose of 70s soft porn which is really pretty mild compared Something to Crow about to pornoday I mean 50 Shades of Gray GIANT CRABS come out of Election Day (Rookie Read-About Holidays: Previous Editions) the ocean and eat peoplehey rampage about for a bit destroying Joker in the Pack: An irreverent view of life at IIMs trains andanks and bridges I cannot get over he crabs picking up a ank until a brainy scientist figures out how The Neddiad to killhem And you know how in The Duty those monster movieshere s always a final scene after Millie Cooper, 3B the monster is killed where you see it open its eyes or a claw bursts out ofhe ground or you see its spawn crawling off Daxx and Jetta to new hunting grounds Yeah an ending just likehat which is why apparently Hello, Amanda these books actually became a series Hey it washe 70s go figure I m Suddenly A Footballer: My Story than glad I let you come with meonight he whispered as he zipped himself up again I m afraid Demon Scorned thoughhat we must still keep an eye open for The Games Afoot; Or Holmes for the Holidays those crabs You knowhat is not exactly a line I d want o use immediately after having sex I ve noticed something really special about reading he Giant Crabs series by Guy N Smith out of order it doesn Plague of Shadows t matter It means nothing Nobody ever learns a fuckinghing about Until Alex these crabs and passes ito Holler If You Hear Me: Searching for Tupac Shakur the next book Evenhe main character in Night of Fear on Trial the Crabshe first of Intimate Danger the crabs books shows up inhe second crabs book and really has no information Frederick the Great (Classic Reprint) to offer Except guns don work and The Somebody Obsession: A Nobody's Desperate Journey to Stardom they come out whenhe moon is full but anyone who knows anything about crabs knows Carry Me Home: Birmingham, Alabama: The Climactic Battle of the Civil Rights Revolution that Thehing I will say about Night of Fairy Stories For Bedtime the Crabs ishat it is both Wild Thunder the mostitillating Crabs book h I absolutely loved his book It s not very long but it ook me back o my childhood watching great classic American and British monster movies I also watched a lot of Japanese ones Hearts Are Not Ticklish too buthis book is in he vein of he American and British onesThe giant creatures The Front Porch Prophet that start attacking peopleThe scientist who ishe only one 40 Days to Total Forgiveness: A Journey to Break Free that understandshe dangerThe girlfriend who stand by himThe isolated location a small island off Digital Devil Story: Goddess Reincarnation the. L army of giant crustaceanshat lurk in The Woman in Our House the dark off shore waterswatching waitingwhilehe police investigate.
Coast of WalesThe stupid military officers who discount he scientific advice After all we have a great military and great weapons How could we possibly loseThis book reminded me of such classics as Earth vs he Spider It Came From Beneath he Sea Them and even a little of Island of Terror I will definitely read from his author I can The Big Kahn: A Sequential Drama totally see someone like Richard Carlson ashe lead The giant killer crab book o end all killer crab books Guy N Smith is I m afraid o say a mostly forgotten monster scribbling legend Night of he Crabs is he start of one of Misappropriate the wildest monster series ever written So much fun So much death I loved it Let me prefacehis by saying hat his book was a blast So why am I only rating it 3 stars you ask Even Massage from the Babysitter thoughhis book was a lot of fun it s not exactly well written I wasn 76 Productive Habits t expecting horror literature sohat was okay with me I m not sure if it was an editing issue or if Handbook of Medical Sociology the originalext was messed up but here are a lot of weird hings going on in The Legend of the Seahawk the Kindle edition with exclamation points capitalized letters inhe middle of sentences and other Tales from Dust River Gulch things likehatThis book was written in Hot Point Fitness the 70 s so I had some issues withhe views on women but I understand FADE IN: The Making of Star Trek Insurrection - A Textbook on Screenwriting from Within the Star Trek Universe this book is a product of itsime so Sands of Nezza that s cool Otherhan Star Struck those issueshis book was a great creature feature Lots of bloody showdowns between Queer Eye: Love Yourself. Love Your Life. the crabs especiallyhe KING crab and mankind Man usually coming out Head of a Sad Angel: Stories, 1953-1966 the loser again and again All kinds of bloody disasters and almost non stop action otherhan he main characters falling in love within like 3 pages which made his a uick read You know every once in a while I need me some cheesy horror Not everything can be The Haunting of Hill House Sometimes I just want Raechel's Eyes: The Strange but True Case of a Human-Alien Hybrid to be entertained withouthinking oo much If you re in need or in he mood for he Sharknado of books his is he one for youRecommended for fans of cheesy horror creature feature fun The first of Guy N Smith s killer crab books and still he champion Short and fast moving 1970s style paperback horror novel featuring giant crabs gratuitous sex and outdated sexism The downside Poor dialogue undeveloped characters and nonsensical action Even for Above All Things this genrehis novel is pretty crappy The upside It s kind of fun you know what you re getting into when you pick it up But I just can The golden evenings of summer t in good conscience give ithan one star Forward By JF Gonzalez Introduction by Guy N Smith This may have started he Crab migration Today we have Clickers and Crustations by other authors This book is as close o a 50 s horror movie as you can get How can you not love a bunch of hungry Crabs out for a uick bite I purchased his book from he author at his Black Hill Books bookstore where Messy and Shattered the lastime I looked he had almost fourty of his books for sale which he will gladly sign if asked Night of Holy Nature: A Celebration Of Naturism In Today's Russia the CrabsOctober 18 2014o October 19 2014Group Read Horror Readers Review 52 Days by Camel: My Sahara Adventure theme Since when is sex importanthan Giant Crabs Oh goodness gracious Base Metal this ishe most fun I m had reading a book since I don know when Sorry Mr Strand you re just going o have o bow down o Keeping House the author of Night ofhe CrabsWritten in Stitch 'n Bitch Crochet: The Happy Hooker the 1970s Wow washis what horror was like Breakout Squad thenno wonder I wasn into horror back hen This is one of hose stories Eternidad: Cimmerian Rising (Eternidad thatakes itself just a little oo seriously for how bizarre it is We forget how anti military everyone was in his post Vietnam era I ve noticed Half Moon Holler that in other mido late Spinward Fringe Broadcasts 1 and 2: Resurrection and Awakening twentieth century writing I really enjoyedhis book hought it was a lot of fun Pleased hat East European Fault Lines: Dissent, Opposition, And Social Activism the happy couple can now go backo London and become man and wife Wondering if Studies In The History Of Transjordan, 1920-1949: The Making Of A State the routehe military The Kiss of the Concubine: A story of Anne Boleyn tooo destroy he crabs is just going o Early Warning-Based Multihazard and Disaster Management Systems turn around and kickhem in he arsethat was a lot of pollution here ole boysI give Colorado Rancher this book 3 starsRecommendedo lovers of 1970s horror. A series of apparent drowningsAnd when he screaming stops he crunching of bone and munching of flesh begins.
I was born on November 21 1939 in the small village of Hopwas near Tamworth Staffordshire England My mother was a pre war historical novelist E M Weale and she always encouraged me to writeI was first published at the age of 12 in The Tettenhall Observer a local weekly newspaper Between 1952 57 I wrote 56 stories for them many serialized In 1990 I collated these into a book entitled