I am unable to write an unbiased report of Kathy Pooler s debut memoir Ever Faithful to His Lead because I ve watched her develop this story from disjointed pieces into a powerfully crafted well edited and polished piece of writing I read a couple of preliminary drafts But even so I strongly believe in the importance of Pooler s message and want to review the book from that point of view Memoir has been described as you now telling the story of you then In this case Pooler now has the advantage of decades experience and wisdom than she had then so she is able to highlight the blind spots and confusion she experienced then and put it all into perspective She is able to give her young self advice and insight that she could have benefited from back then had it been available Her hope and mine is that women who need this advice today will find this book and take courage and comfort from her words Her story is hardly uniue Like so many young women of her day and even now she longed for her Prince Charming to come along and make her life complete She had been blessed with the opportunity to grow up in a stable loving family with strong faith Ultimately she realized that a near total lack of conflict within her family had ill prepared her to deal with the real world or recognize that shining armor may cover rotten cores She also came to see that the ethic she had absorbed that women in general and especially wives and mothers should subordinate their feelings and put their own needs last after husband and children served nobody well Her idyllic background held all the ingredients for emotional disaster with the wrong man and provided her with no solid guidelines for choosing a good one Even gut feelings were no help Pooler s gut told her to run not once but continually from two different suitors One was an alcoholic the other emotionally abusive But she ept ignoring those gut feelings marrying the men in spite of feeling trapped and scared She tried to convince herself that her parents worked things out to create a stable and loving family and so would she Then like a frog in cold water put on to boil she barely realized how the situation ept escalating She writes When I was in the midst of an abusive situation I reacted to it with my own unrealistic frame of reference all parents are loving all marriages last through thick and thin love will triumph all Despite my advanced nursing education I neither recognized that my children and I were in an abusive situation nor felt I had any options Ultimately she came to realize that a loving family a strong faith and a solid career would not rescue me from self defeating behaviors until I learned to rescue myself When I discovered In this spellbinding debut memoir Kathleen Pooler describes growing up in a loving and nurturing family only to have her life turn dark with two abusive marriages The big uestion of why is the compelling story line of this book and informative to all who read itKathy is a Baby Boomer and her descriptions of childhood evoke rich nostalgia I enjoyed reading about the cultural touchstones of our early years However like many girls at that time Kathy was reared to be of service by loving well intended parents and a Church that preached obedience loyalty and self sacrifice She matures into a hard working fun loving and intelligent young woman She earns her nursing degree and a full scholarship to postgraduate school She builds a career raises two great ids and develops many solid and nurturing friendshipsYet when it comes to choosing a husband she somehow ignores all the red flags As we watch Kathy endure two soul crushing marriages we wonder how she could make such choices but she comes to understand her reasons and they are universal I have personally made those mistakes and I ll bet many readers have as well This book not only sheds light on Kathy me and perhaps you but how we raise our daughters in this culture In fact I was angered by the complicity of the families of the two husbands I don t want to spoil the story but the insights she gains and shares in the final chapters of the book are illuminating It s almost as if this book is an owner s manual for life itself I enthusiastically recommend it Kathleen Pooler could be the friendly neighbor next door with a smile and a cup of coffee offered but we never now what goes on in someo. Good girl travels a rocky road to become a strong woman Kathleen Pooler's experience and insights capture the essence of an era and this crisply written volume will inspire any reader Sharon Lippincott author of The Heart and Craft of Lifestory Writingprovides us with a deep well of wisdom and a cautionary tale that will resonate with every woman Lynne M Spreen author of Dakota Blues Nothing can rescue her until she decides to rescue herself How does a young woman from a
Ne s life Kathy was raised with the same two loving parents and as a Catholic The subtitle of her book is My Journey Away From Emotional Abuse That journey took a good many years two abusive husbands and the raising of her two children All this while she was working as a nurse moving up the ladder with one good nursing position after another Her job choices and her man choices were polar oppositesShe suffered emotional abuse and dealing with an alcoholic husband in her first marriage Her second husband was controlling and an angry person She asked herself over and over why she made such bad choices Turning to God helped her move on to a happier life but it didn t happen uickly Kathy had to work through a lot about herself before she felt good about herself again all while moving her children from one town to another for jobs she d taken Support from her family gave her a much needed boost This memoir will eep you turning pages to learn what happens next and to search for that happy ending we all hope for Besides being a good story the writing is well done I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who has gone through marriage difficulties and for those who enjoy memoirs Kathleen Pooler grew up as a member of the Cinderella generation confident that some day her prince would come yet she came of age during the roiling 1970s when Helen Reddy belted out the feminist battle cry I am woman hear me roar It was an energizing exhilarating but scary time for Pooler as she tried to balance marriage motherhood and a nursing career Caught up in the challenge of trying to do it all she ignored the reality of her young husband s escalating alcoholism and abuse With each successive marriage she convinced herself that things would get better Kathleen Pooler s memoir examines the role of denial and magical thinking that many readers will find familiar and shows how her commitment to her faith ultimately sustained and released her Kathy Pooler grew up in a loving Catholic family a big sister to her siblings a caring vivacious young woman who chose nursing as a career She was all set to emulate her parents happy marriage when she married EdAfter the honeymoon months it became apparent that Ed drank too much a problem Kathy hoped would diminish or disappear after the birth of their first child This turned out to be wishful thinking and after her second child was born it only became clear that she would have to leave the marriageWhile Kathy s career as a nurse flourishes and she gets chosen for leadership positions her role as a single parent proves most difficult and a new man eventually walks into her life Again Kathy overlooks many signs of values conflict and inability to regulate emotions The new man becomes her second husband Dan s form of abuse was emotional and verbal but he also beat her sonThe title of the book Ever Faithful to His Lead concerns the way that Kathy comes to rely on God Through the guidance of a friend she begins to feel a personal connection to God which strengthens her in some of her moments of doubt and weakness She seems to lose focus on God when Dan comes into her life and to find it again when she returns home to her parents She eventually comes to value herself highly in relation to men she dates and to see warning signs in new suitors that she might have overlooked previouslyThe author Kathleen Pooler has poured open her soul to her readers just as she has revealed herself to God This is a passionate story that holds the reader s attention especially with dramatic scenes in the beginningWithout preaching without blaming she does what she has always done best She teaches and gives excellent care Over time she even learns to care for herself I really enjoyed this book It is very easy to read almost as if you were curled up on the sofa having a chat with the author drinking a cup of coffee It is well written and descriptive and flows beautifully The book covers the author s life with flashbacks to different time periods but they are relevant and fit in the right places so the fact that it moves around is not at all confusing The author discusses why and how she made bad choices in her life when it comes to relationships and tries to fathom why she made poor choices in partners even though there were red flags She realizes that she is trying to live up to actual or perceived expecta. Table loving family make so many wise choices when it comes to career but so many poor choices when it comes to love Kathy must face her self defeating patterns before she and her children become a statistic Her life and the lives of her two children depend upon the choices she makes and the chances she takes Join Kathy on her rollercoaster ride of self discovery from shame and guilt to inner strength in her tears to triumph story If you have ever despaired as a parent or.
Tions rather than putting her own wishes first which I am sure many women can identify with However the joy of the memoir lies in the fact that she is able to find the strength to end the toxic relationships with the hope of finding something better or being alone I also enjoyed the memory of women becoming emancipated in the 60s and 70s when we thought we had to do it all the education the responsible job raising the children cooking and cleaning and with that joy of emancipation came the pressure and the stressOverall a great read a book that will make you think and one that shows one woman s strength to be able to overcome situations which thousands of woman across the world are living through on a daily basis Highly recommended Ever Faithful to His Lead My Journey Away from Emotional AbuseBy Kathleen PoolerKathleen Pooler a memoirist blogger and Catholic with a personal relationship with God shares her recovery story from emotional abuse with bravery honesty and full self disclosure As a reader I immediately sensed I was in the presence of an honest writer In sharing the whole truth she gained my complete trust and attention I admire her heart for desiring to help other women or men recognize any propensity in themselves for ignoring or denying the signs of emotional abuse from their partners It s her vulnerable sharing that shows rather than preaches a sermon or warning for all womenHer writing is easy to follow and her memoir reads like a novel She ends with a list of discussion uestions that make this book an ideal resource for women in recovery from abusive relationships It may also serve as an eye opener for those still caught in an unhealthy relationship The ending was deeply satisfying and hope filled because she demonstrated how she grew stronger in her ability to recognize and back away from dangerous or unhealthy men Memoir On Emotional Abuse Shame Guilt And TriumphEver Faithful to His Lead My Journey Away from Emotional Abuse by Kathleen Pooler is a fabulously crafted book with her experience and insights in an inspirational way It is said that when you walk on a rocky path you become stronger This is a story of an era The complete story is written in a crisp manner 52 ratings on com and 83% of them are five stars speak a lot about the bookEvery woman will find her story in the story of Ever Faithful to His Lead My Journey Away from Emotional Abuse by Kathleen Pooler Nobody else will come to your help unless you first decide to help yourself It is you who Arabian Challenge know the gravity of crisis you are into and nobody else will be able to understand that as much as you can Women seem to have a different outlook in career and in love They are intelligent in their career but st I purchased Ever Faithful to His Lead My Journey Away From Emotional Abuse and read it in one sitting that very evening I couldn t put it down This true life memoir gripped me with the honest portrayal of an intelligent well educated woman who learned the long and hard way that she could say no to abuse I loved the author s way of telling her story especially showing her fun and sassy Italian roots Reading her life story as a good Catholic girl from her first dates as a student during the Vietnam era right through nursing school and her first and second disastrous marriage was like watching a really good movie something Bette Midler would act in This memoir though full length was fast paced and though not a fictional novel the writing uality pleased me as much as a good novel would I highly recommend this non fiction memoir to those who like a really good true story that clips along with fresh air honesty The author was not perfect She made some mistakes but all in all she s theind of woman you look up to A woman you root for from page one A woman who needs to learn to love herself a lesson we all need to learn As a Protestant Christian I also really appreciated the uiet strength of the author s Catholic faith Finding the Courage to Look Within In clear descriptive prose and with the feel of an intimate sharing between trusted friends Pooler s touching memoir delves into the heart breaking repercussions of disastrous choices How does an intelligent capable woman with a successful professional career do so well in public life yet suffer so terribly behind closed doors Pooler reveals the merry go round of best intentions Partner nowing you have made a wrong choice but not nowing how to move forward you will find courage hope and strength in these pages Shirley Showalter author of Blush A Mennonite Girl Meets a Glittering World Kathleen Pooler is a retired Family Nurse Practitioner and active memoir writer She believes in the power of hope and writing to transform heal and transcend life's obstacles and disappointments She writes weekly at her Memoir Writer's Journey blog http rpoolercom.
Kathleen Pooler is an author and a retired Family Nurse Practitioner whose memoir Ever Faithful to His Lead My Journey Away From Emotional Abuse was published on July 282014 Her work in progress seuel Just the Way He Walked A Mother's Story of Healing and Hope about how the power of hope through her faith in God helped her to transform heal and transcend life’s obstacles and disappointme